apat na araw nalang... mag-iisang taon nako dito. 361 days nakong nagbabali ng buto. 8664 hours nakong nagbabalat ng patatas. 519840 minutes nakong tumatakbo. 31190400 seconds nakong pinagpapawisan. wag na kayong magcompute. di ko rin alam kung san galing ang mga pigurang yan. 2:20am na at bawal magmath sa ganitong oras sa batas ng mundo ko.
hindi nanaman ako makatulog. na-realize ko, ang tagal ko nang hindi sumusulat. paglusong ko sa tubig, hindi nako nakaahon uli... nalunod ako masyado sa iba't ibang aktibidades na maisip kong gawin para lang maaliw at wag isipin na dumudugo na talaga ang ilong ko sa paghahanapbuhay. mahirap. pero kailangan. ayoko sana maging madrama. pero pinipilit akong subukan ng tadhana.
patay. blanko ang utak. na-max-out ko na ata ang comprehension limit ko for the day sa pelikulang Narnia. buti nalang libre, kundi hanggang ngayon pressured akong mag aftershock aftershow. hindi ko alam ang ibig sabihin nun. hindi ko rin alam kung saan galing yun. siguro nga kailangan ko lang magpahinga. the body is willing but the mind is weak. alam ko. baligtad. pero hindi talaga.
apat na araw nalang... paano ko ba aaksayahin ang natitirang mga oras bago ako mag-anniv? i should end my year with a blast to begin the new year with another blast, so the journey toward the second anniversary would be another blast. i'm about to end this anecdote and still i haven't come up with a decent subject to write about. this is just an indication that there is a scarcity of stimulating, enlightening and educational means for intellectual, sophisticated and spiritual advancement. na-conscious ako. i just noticed that this rubbish-filled entry is more personal and emotional than the previous ones. this is not good. full-stop.
Posted at 01:58 am by
tbsice
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Implosion – explosion from within.
Word for the day ko ngayon, September 27, 2007. Yan ang salubong ng seatmate ko umagang pumasok ako. Di niya ata ma-gets na nag-uumpisa palang gumana ang utak ko at 10am. I need at least 5 hours to log in to the world outside. Tapos magla-log out din siya ng 1pm. So just imagine the remaining tormented stretch of the day that feels like ages for me.
Wala yung limang Chinese aunties nung umagang dumaan ako sa playground kanina. Malakas ang ulan. At masakit ang katawan ko. Nag-e-echo pa ang malalim boses ng captain namin sa kweba ng mga tenga ko. POWER, NOW! (I-power mo yang mukha mo pagod nako!) Nag-li-linger naman sa background ang matinis na boses ng katabi ko. EIGHT-NINE-TEN-ah! LoOngGah! (isa ka pa pa-longer longer ka pa diyan!) Two excruciating hours of physical exploitation on a boat with a paddle on my left and 15 other god-knows-whether-they're-humans-or-machines. I had to constantly ask my seatmate, why are we doing this again? World peace. Yes. World peace. Of course, why else would we brutally and mercilessly misuse our vulnerable bodies? Why else would we choose to be viciously abused by our captain whereas we very well know that we were born with the will to opt for a leisurely 10-minute walk into the quiet park? Despite of the muscle fatigue, still my seatmate can find time to crack a joke, which makes the battle between me, my paddle and the river waters of the Kallang river even more interesting yet frustrating. We have to persist and press on, driving the ore into the water with nothing but all your might, pull it back to your hip, then according to one of the pinoy rowers, with a little pilantik hoist it up just to drive it in again, until all your muscles implode (aha! Nagamit ko rin sawakas ang word for the day!). Milagro nalang kung makakatulong ka pa sa pagbuhat at pagligpit ng bangka matapos ang training, at magcool down pa sa pamamagitan ng stretching at 50 push-ups. At syempre ang lahat ng ito, ay para sa itinataguyod na kapayapaan para sa buong mundo.
I have never been so exhausted in my whole life. Worn-out. Bushed. Dead beat talaga. Bukas sama ako ulit.
Posted at 07:16 am by
tbsice
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"People must present something of equal value to gain something. This is the principle of equivalent trade in alchemy."
Isang napakainteresanteng prinsipyong natutunan ko kina Ed at Al Elric (mga idol!).
80cents=hot tea with milk
$3.50=seafood ban mian
$1.30=egg prata
$2.00=isang lata ng Pringles
isang lata ng Pringles=tatlong oras sa treadmill
happy birthday=maraming salamat
maraming salamat=walang anuman
regalo ko?=ngisi lang
isang case ng red horse=isang daang uwak
mahalay na haplos sa binti=sampal sa kaliwang pisngi
dikit ng bubble gum sa buhok=sampal sa kanang pisngi
bwahahaha=sigaw ng saklolo
tigil sa tawa=suntok sa solar plexus
porma pang-matrix=round 1, fight!
Talong pulang lobo hugis puso, isang kahon ng ferero rocher, isang dosenang pulang rosas=busted
NO=isandaang luha, duguang puso, walang lamang wallet
Ayon kay sensei Izumi, wag daw maniwala sa prinsipyong yun.
Ewan.
Posted at 12:54 pm by
tbsice
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